Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in x jessica x may x's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
3:47 pm	Guess who's back bitches. thats fucking right. SOO much has happened, I dont even know where to begin. So Im starting a new lj. i have new pictures and my updated life on there... the name is: suckmynineinch i love you and i miss you jon. (3 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
10:41 pm	Well im back for the week to help with the movers and see my love. I'm driving back down next monday afternoon. here are some ( pictures ) Current Mood: bored Current Music: the smashing pumpkins (10 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
3:28 pm	JON AUST. I dropped my phone in the pool last night, so if you couldnt reach me, thats why. eep. call me any night at the hotel...you dial 1 407 737 6075 and then when it asks for the room number, dial 507 Im so dumb. I love you so much. call me any time after nine. im getting a new phone either today or tomorrow, so when you call, give me your dads house number so that i can reach you. kaybye<3 (anyone else can call if they want too... <33) (3 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
11:37 pm	Hi my name is Jess may, and I'm going back to Connecticut from the 17th to the 27th. Oh also: I love you with all my heart, Jon Aust. the end. Current Mood: missing the Love of my Life. Current Music: mtv's true life: im obese. (6 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Sunday, July 4th, 2004
5:17 pm	Update. Florida is awesome. So much better. I forgot how much there was to do here and how much fun it is. One problem though. The only person I'll ever truly love is not here with me. Not good. Besides that one huge problem, everything is a okay. My mom is coming down next saturday, and were going to look at houses. I'm excited. Were going to buy a house, and all the ones the realtor has lined up for us to look at have a pool. Yay! I've never lived in a house before, so I'm real excited. I love Jon Aust with all I am, and do not know how I'm going to survive without him. I honestly don't. :( Oh yeah.. When my mom leaves the next Saturday to go back up to CT to help the movers and shit, I'm flying back up with her so I can see my love, and perhaps a few others. :) Then the next weekend, we drive back down to Florida to our new house with a pool! Wo0t. Alright I'm gonna go watch lifetime movies with Erica for the rest of the day/evening. Then tonight we're going to Dairy Queen to get ice cream, and renting the blair witch project and The new texas chainsaw massacre, Because the first texas chainsaw massacre was retarded and just annoying with the damn girl screaming for about an hour. Okay goodbye and I love you with all my heart Jon Aust. <3 (4 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Friday, June 25th, 2004
12:53 am	Fare Thee Well Alrighty. So I'm off. And happier than ever. If anyone wants/needs to reach me at any time, my phone number will be: 1 . 860 . 944 . 1832 I'm pretty sure you have to dial the area code, since I'll be out of state. *** Well kids, I had fun here (not really. at all.) and shall miss you all. (only a select few..you most liekly now who you are.) Connecticut is a wonderful place, and I shall miss it oh so much. (please note the sacrcasm of that whole sentence.) Especially the load of shit faced douche bags from school. (no sarcasm there.) Have fun, to all you (unlucky) people who have to stay here. tata<3 *** Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins (4 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Thursday, June 24th, 2004
1:27 am	THANK christ. I'm leaving Saturday morning, bitchezzzzz. hell mother effing yes. One more day in "misery land", and I'm free from myeself. halefuckingllujia I've lived in 10 states, and Paris now, and I think I have the right to say that Connecticut sucks fucking penis. It is the most depressing, miserable, low life, boring, hick central, stuck up place, that I have ever been in. Ever. Besides the friends that I have made here, There is nothing. Literally.. Fare thee well. Current Mood: indescribable. Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins (2 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
2:04 pm	orgasm. OH. MY. GOD. I'm so excited, I peed myself. Not really, but I'm so fucking excited. Okay so my mom had dinner with that guy last night. She has the job, And we're going to Florida to look for apartments next week. Her job is paying for everything. The plane ride down to look for the apartment, The down payment on the apartment, The move, We don't even have to pack, cause suddath is coming. They pack everything for you in a day and leave in the same day. It's ridiculously awesome. So if they get all of that organized sometime this week, then we go down on Saturday. When we go down, I'm just staying with Erica, and my mom is flying back up here and then driving down by herself. That way there's more room in the car, and I don't have to come back to this place of misery and boredom. I'm so happy. Current Mood: enthralled Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins (Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
8:34 am	series//2 ( melancholy and the infinite sadness ) Current Mood: happy Current Music: smashing pumpkins (4 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Monday, June 21st, 2004
10:26 pm	FUCKING A. Okay, so I dyed my hair blonde. Blah blah blah. It was all going good, Until I rinsed out and looked in the mirror and started crying. My hair was like fucking orange as a canadians ass. That made no sense... SO I also had black hair dye... (since I was originally planning on just doing my normal two toned thing over) ... and dyed it black to cover it up. Now I look like a complete fucking loser. Just my luck. What a perfectly awful ending to a perfectly awful night. So that's the update on my hair. Now the update with my moving. My mom is having dinner tomorrow night with some guy that flew up from Florida, who supposively makes all the decisions and such. My mom says we could move as soon as next week. I'm so overwhelmed with everything right now, I don't even know what to think about anything anymore, and honestly just don't even care. About anything and everything. It's really quite sad, but I just can't even help it. So I'm just here, living day by day, wishing I wasn't. I'm going to go watch David Lettermen now. Goodnight, loves. ((I love you jon. so fucking much.)) Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: the smashing pumpkins (5 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Thursday, June 17th, 2004
9:02 am	tear. 3 More weeks and I'm discharged from my therapy group! Toot toot. But then I still have normal sessions, and my art therapy. But art therapy is fun, so I think I'll survive. Tomorrow I'm going to go to some fair in New Britain or somewhere with Matt, and Steve is going to "tag along," as he says. Then we might go to some college party? I don't know. We'd only be goin' for the alchohizzle. I haven't drank in 253843536 days. No more than that. My mom is bothering me to take my pills. I'm not going to, because I need my daily dose of Conan, son. OH gee. We're moving in about 3 to 4 weeks. I'm excited. I think I'm ready. This'll be good for me, and my mom, and our future. The only thing that I'll have a hard time letting go of is Jon. I'm going to be so miserable, and torn up, and so down that I'm already so scared. I just need to think about the future, and all the fun that I have to look forward to. Beaches, City Walk, Erica...OH MY GOD SO MUCH MORE. orgasm. I think it'll be hard for the first month or two, but once I get back in school And see all my old friends, I know I'll be the happiest I've been in a fucking long ass Time. Oh god I'm going to miss Jon so fucking much though. I can't even bare to think about it without crying now, So I can't even imagine how I'll be when I actually leave. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Fuck me up the ass. I'm going to go write. ::And A Picture For Good Luck:: (what a camera whore.) Current Mood: horny Current Music: rainer maria (5 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
12:05 am	somewhere through all of this, ( I swear theres a meaning. ) Current Mood: hungry Current Music: david lettermen. oi. (4 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
11:56 am	oh god. ( oh dear god ) Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: saosin (5 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Saturday, June 12th, 2004
7:43 pm	oh man oh man. ( oh my goodness. ) Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: saosin (2 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
12:21 am	wow. had a surprisingly fun night. considering i started out almost checking myself back in the hospital. i was so fucking down i was seriously starting to scare myself, so i left. just walked around, and then ended up coming back in and getting a call from gay steve boy harbist. my mom drove me there and we played video games for a bit and watched slc punk while i ate 3 tuna fish sandwhiches, the rest of his ice cream birthday cake, and a slice of blueberry pie. so then he called his friend matt and greg.. (the purpose of my going over there in the first place) to see when they were coming to pick us up. they're both nineteen. because you care. they came, and we all piled back into the car and were off to the turnpike. we drove around, and listened to awesome music, and passed 3534543i6546 cops.. then stopped at the gas station cause greg almost peed his pants.. while matt filled up and humped my door. then we were off again, and 'cruised' for a few hours, which seemed like minutes to me. then matt needed to go to the bathroom, so we stopped at burger king and he went while me and gay boy and greg stood in the parking lot. then matt came back out after like an hour, and got red hi c and a crown for me! haha rhymes. so we stood in the parking lot a little more talking about me moving back to florida, and watching "pimped up cars" drive by. we saw about 4 pull into the burger king parking lot that were all exactly the same, just all different colors. i laughed. cause it was so gay. then we drove and drove and drove on the turnpike because nothing was open at 11 30, and decided to drive back to farmington. we dropped greg off at his amazing "juliet house," and drove back towards mine. i got dropped off and thats my story. i met 2 fucking amazing people tonight. and i plan on seeing them again next friday. woot. the end. Current Mood: good Current Music: mates of state (13 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
10:34 pm	suck it. ( my boobs are too big. ) Current Mood: anxious Current Music: tv (4 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
7:14 am	bbbbbboooooorrrrrrreeeeeeddddddd ( Maybe I should have just stayed in school. ) Current Mood: bored Current Music: belle and sebastian (11 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Monday, June 7th, 2004
1:49 pm	fucking gay. im more fucking miserable than i was before i even went to the fucking hospital, and now my mom fucking tells me were moving. i hate life. im so angry right now... i could fucking paint. or do a collage. coping skills ;) gay. they dont even help or stop me from doing bad things. shit on me. and for all you sorry fucks who think this is for attention... go fuck yourselves and each other. motherfuckers. meow. i love saggy like whoa. Current Mood: all around miserable Current Music: smashing pumpkins (9 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
10:15 pm	drink drink kiss kiss. ( pictures ) Current Mood: paranoid Current Music: jest to brazil (11 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
10:26 pm	woo. wow. what a week. not a good experience whatsoever. but at least im home and feeling one hundred and ten percent better. ill be back in school on friday. i am so in love with jon aust. it's completely ridiculous. completely. outrageous. its so amazingly unconscianable. wooooooo big words for jess. okay im off to dream. and i miss jon. and i wish he was here. to sleep with me. and talk to me so i dont have to hear my ridiculous horny male neighbor chasing his girlfriend around the apartment next door with her squealing like a big horny retarded slut bitch who needs to use her dildo more often. goodnight. Current Music: my slut neighbor squealing and trying to be cute (3 Say she moves like the sun// | Reflecting from leaf to leaf.)